The 9 People You Meet in Airplane Hell
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The Whiner
Air travel is no fun. It’s cramped, boring, and stressful. The food sucks, the recycled air smells like the inside of a plastic bag, and the seats are too small. This is true for every single passenger in economy class, with the exception of those blissful souls who had the foresight to get zonked on Ambien before boarding and were asleep before the seatbelt light turned off.
In the eyes of the Whiner, however, their own personal comfort is of the utmost significance – and they won’t hesitate to tell you, at considerable volume, all the ways in which their sensibilities are being violated.
They’ll wistfully ramble about the days when seats were larger and real food was served on every trip. They’ll adjust the temperature control incessantly, adjusting the useless little air nozzle every which way in search of the optimal angle. They’ll call over the flight attendant to complain about something she can’t possibly change, like the dismal selection of in-flight entertainment. They’ll sigh dramatically every time a nearby child makes a sound.
All you can do is wait until they’re not looking, slide your earbuds in, and hope they get the hint. (They won’t, though – you’re in the 7th circle of Airplane Hell.)
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