15 Things You Should Never Do in America
| October 15, 2015
Call them “French Fries”
Congressman Walter Jones (R-NC) decreed back in 2003 that the cowardly named dish, “French fries” be renamed “freedom Fries” from that point on. And since he said it while he was in congress, we’re pretty sure it’s like, basically a law now.
Fail to put the flag on everything
Every American must be wearing at least one flag item at all times with a minimum of four required on July 4th. There isn’t an item that can’t be made better with a flag pattern on it. Hammer pants? Do it! Prom dress? You’ll be stunning. A postage stamp-sized flag bikini? Our forefathers would have wanted it that way.
Get gay married
Oh wait. Nope, that’s cool now too because we’re THAT AWESOME.
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